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Tag Archives: ultrasounds
Evening thoughts
Sometimes, I think being a nurse( working in Labor and Delivery and in a RE’s office has forever skewed my view on life/pregnancy.
Even though I have been in L&D for the last 10 years and have seen just how wrong things can go, I never thought of it in terms of me. I never thought anything could happen to me. Come on, taking a year to get pregnant? Then miscarrying at 10 weeks 6 days? What the hell? All of this was stuff that happened to other people not me! I’m healthy, I don’t smoke, do drugs, or drink excessively. WTF?
I know the past has a big impact on us and that if we don’t learn from the past, we are doomed to repeat it. But I did nothing wrong last time. And I”m doing nothing wrong this time. But I still got shitted on. I know everything happens for a reason, but for the life of me, I still don’t get the reason for my miscarriage.
But it did happen to me, and now I live with the consequences of it daily. The fear, the unknown, the known, all mixed up with the joy, elation and excitement.
So anyway, I was writing this post at work, when I just decided to give in and go on over to ultrasound, hope they weren’t too busy, and beg to see The Boy.
Of course,(yes I can say that now) he was there, healthy, happy, and moving around. I was right, the reason I can’t feel him the same is that he turned, and is now head down. He’s kicking other areas besides my cervix. We measured him, and he comes out to be 618 grams which equals 1 pound 8 oz. He put his hand in his mouth, he yawned, he looked like he was trying to get his foot to his mouth. At one point, it even looked like he was waving at me! He always measures consistently 2 days ahead(which today was 24 weeks exactly,) moving my due date up to 11/25 instead of 11/27. Not much really, but interesting.
So I feel better.
Until next time.
But the question still stands, why did I feel that way in the first place? Why can’t I just bask in the glory of being pregnant like everyone else? Why do I still feel like I can’t fully expand my lungs? I don’t know if I will ever be a happy carefree pregnant girl.
Probably not.
But maybe I’ll be one that can breathe easier as the weeks go by.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 23 weeks, 2nd trimester, miscarriage, pregnancy after miscarriage, ultrasounds, worries
3 Comments
20 weeks 5 days………
I swear, all day long, I was going crazy with anticipation.
CRAZY!
But finally, the time came. We got to the Dr’s office 45 minutes early. Sat in the parking lot debating if we should go in, looking to eager, or if we should just wait until the appointment time.
We went in early.
Ten minutes later………………………
Cold goopy gel(I mean COME ON! Warm it up like they do at work!), Ultrasound probe…..
Awwwwww, There’s my baaaaaby, there’s my boy!
The first thing she did was show us the goods. Yes, he has boy parts. In all his glory.
Then his little heart beating(awwwwwww).
Then the sound of his heart going strong.(Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww)
Then his brain, his stomach, his kidneys his hands, fingers, toes,…. etc.
She pointed out that he was breech, but hey, I’m only 20 weeks 5 days. He’ll probably flip several times.(At least he better!)
Got a couple of photos.( Finally a profile one. He looks so cute. Definitely my head shape. Maybe C-Dub’s lips, his nose. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Anyway, everything was pronounced fine. I saw my friendly favorite midwife/friend, asked a few questions about constipation. This shit( pun intended) is NOT comfortable! After some suggestions of stuff I had already tried( lots of fiber and water) and others I hadn’t ( Colace, Dolcolax and strawberries) off we went until the next appointment four weeks from now.
Afterwards, we went to dinner, talked about our boy some more, disagreed over names once more, then made a trip to Target.
Target. For a baby shower gift for a co worker tomorrow. C-Dub and I did more looking for us than for her, and it was fun. Definitely saner than Babies R Us. Hey, breast pumps, strollers, bottles, nipples, clothes, pack and play, cribs…….yeah. I’m thinking I’m going to have to register soon.
But anyway, it was a great day. My boy is still happy and healthy. And I’m thinking about registering for BABY stuff.
Big step.
It’s a great day.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 20 weeks, 2nd trimester ultrasound, constipation, pregnancy, ultrasounds
4 Comments
20 WEEKS
Today, I am 20 weeks exactly.
WE ARE HALFWAY THERE!!!!!
I can’t believe we made it this far!! I am soooo excited. And still scared.
I woke up this morning in a state of panic. I don’t know what it was, but I just couldn’t seem to settle all morning. I had this impending feeling of doom all morning long. I couldn’t stand it. Finally, I gave in and went over to the ultrasound department.
“Please????I just need to hear the heartbeat.”
Luckily, they took pity on me. I have a baby bigger than the ones they are used to seeing, so someone got to practice.
And my boy put on a show! He kicked and squirmed, and I was amazed that I can’t feel most of it. It seems that he really likes to kick at my placenta. REALLY! But he was a active little one in there. It was great, made my day.
I am halfway to the finish line with a 15 pound weight gain.
5 months down, 4 to go.
But wait………
FOUR MONTHS TO GO!
I haven’t done anything!!
We haven’t picked a name, I haven’t cleaned out the nursery, we haven’t painted anything, I’ve only bought 3 items of clothing and nothing else! Do I register now?
Oh. My. God.
I think I’m going to have a nervous breakdown!
So much to do, really, so little time.
People keep saying, these 20 weeks have flown by haven’t they?
Well no actually. I feel like every week is dragging because I am literally watching the clock/calender/ticker.
I just want to be like other normal people and enjoy my pregnancy instead of worrying over every little thing.
But it’s OK.
Life is good right now. My baby boy is still safe in my tummy, growing like he should. C-Dub has a job, and is doing all the right things. My sex drive has returned. 
I’m trying to be grateful, and enjoy every moment. I’m trying not to focus so much of what could happen, and instead focus on what is happening.
It’s hard. But hey, I’ve still got a little time to work on it.
Appointments and Other Things
So today, I had my monthly appointment at the midwife’s office. These appointments are so quick, if I blink I miss them. I saw my favorite midwife/friend today. It’s sooooo wonderful to be taken care of by a friend. I never feel ashamed to tell her anything. But anyway, nothing new, just a heartbeat check. 140s and running strong. I’ve gained enough weight to bump my BMI way up. But hey, what can I do?
Stop Eating?
Anyway, the BIG anatomy ultrasound is scheduled 3 weeks from now on July 15th. I’ll be 20 + weeks. Almost 21.
Well, I’ve got to go discuss some money issues with the hubby. He’s engaging in some habits I thought I broke him out of at the beginning of our marriage. But I guess not.
I hate confrontations over money.
Damn it.
