First, let me start by saying thank you for all of the thoughts and kind words. I appreciate it.

And Pookah recovered quickly.  The photo above was taken on Saturday, 2 days after the “incident”.  He ran all day. And didn’t complain once. I had to force him to take breaks. He did need several breathing treatments but that was to be expected. But he’s doing fine.

It took a week for me to get some type of satisfaction from the “incident” as I have started to call it.

A Week.

The day after, I had to return Pookah to school. Not by choice. But by necessity . I don’t have emergency backup childcare. And all friends, relatives, godmother’s anyone I could have trusted him with, they were all working or out of town.

That day, I was HOT, MAD. And so sad for my boy.  But he was eager to go to school. Eager for show and share that happens every Friday. And after the horrible day he had had the day before, I just wanted him to have some happiness.

So I took him to school. I took him back to the place that had almost taken him away from me.  The place that caused him to get stitches in his leg.

And most of the staff was falling over themselves to apologize.

But I was on a mission.

And I started with the teacher who gave him the pancake.

She didn’t know. She didn’t know he was allergic to anything. She just assumed that he never ate breakfast  because he was full. NOT because he was allergic to anything.  But she apologized. Profusely. Over and over.

I appreciated that.

But I had bigger fish to fry. Because the problem as I saw it was not that he got the pancake. The problem was that there was no safety measure in place to make sure that this didn’t happen.

Armed with that info, I went to the nurse. Gave her the new epi pen( that cost me $249 WITH insurance) and sat to wait for the Director to get in. And talked with one of my sources( read a gossip) who told me ALL about what happened that day.

And it wasn’t pretty. The mystery of the “scratch” as everyone kept calling it was solved.  Seems there were three people holding him down to get in the epi pen and someone’s cheap ass ring scratched him. I’ve seen the teacher and the ring. We discussed. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. Also, I learned that no one knew their head from their ass as my child sat there for 2 hours struggling to breath before they figure out that he had a pancake.

Unacceptable.

Finally I had to go get dressed for work, but I stopped back by Pookah’s school to drop off Benadryl and who should I see but the Director. She sashays over, lays a condescending hand on my arm and says, “we’re so sorry this happened. And I hope his scratch is better. I would love to meet with you but I’m in a meeting right now.”

SAY WHAT?

Oh really?

I shook off her hand and told her that “scratches” didn’t need stitches  and here ( handing her the epi-pen bill and the ER bill) call me today. My number is in his file.

And I walked away.

Because I had to work. I’m still on my 3 month probation. SMH

She didn’t call.

She didn’t call that day, or Monday.  Finally Tuesday morning, I called and spoke with her administrative assistant and basically told her that Boo, your boss needs to call me because you all almost killed my child and me and my Lawyer are starting to feel like you don’t care. I’m available after my meeting. Call me.

She called during my meeting and left a condescending message and said she hoped everything was resolved now and she would be back on Thursday.

Ummmmmm Noooooooo

That day, I went on a search for HER boss.  The school has a board of directors. Did they know?

Of course they didn’t, but I was happy to inform them.

Amazing how I got that call from the Director on Thursday.

Amazing.

I think, she was getting her ducks in a row. She was planning, plotting, trying to have a plan for me. But like I told her, that’s all I needed you to do, was to TELL me you were working on it.  To tell me that you had a revised plan going forward and what that plan was.  I’m happy that you’ve got all of these committees and safeguards and revised plans of actions. Oh and that call to the state you say you need to make? Don’t worry, I got you! Already did that for you.

Yesssss.

In the end, she and I came to an agreement. Financially and a plan for Pookah.

It works. For now.

A lot of people have told me that they would have removed Pookah from the school immediately. And while that was my first inclination( and still is if I’m honest) I had to look at the big picture. In this last week, I have searched and searched for a daycare near our house, near my job, near Cdub’s job.  Either they aren’t teaching anything, they are way too expensive, or the food situation is worse than what we’ve got. In other words, the devil I know verses the devil I don’t .I’ve searched for nannies( so far out of my price range it isn’t funny) shared nannies( again, out of my price range), and even thought about COULD I stay at home? Could we afford it? No, No. NO.

We are not that fortunate.  And we’re still recovering from when both of us got laid off in the same year as Pookah was born.  And honestly, it’s not something I ever wanted  to do. Never even thought of.

All in all, I’ve been pleased with his teachers, his happiness at this school( especially in relation to the last one) and what he’s been learning. He loves his teachers. He loves his friends. And honestly, they love him too, judging by the crying and carrying on I’ve had to sit through with them this past week.  There is just the big overpowering fact that my child needed an epi pen in their care. Because of their carelessness, foolishness. Because they weren’t prepared.

But they are now.

So there is no perfect solution right now. I’m not giving up on looking into another daycare, or even looking for a nanny share. I’m even looking into what it would take for me to be able to stay home with him for the next year until we can get him into a preschool.

I hate that my hands are tied, but this is life right now.

We’ll just have to deal.

And Pray.

The post Hard Choices appeared first on My Life.

********************************************************

Pookah:

What can I say?

I feel like this year has been…….

Not an easy one. LOL. I guess that’ s an understatement. But as usual, you amaze me with your resilience and your ability to maintain your joy and laughter.

I noticed today that you were clingy, and that you wanted to be up under me all the time. Normal, I think considering. But still….I worry.

I worry about what each month’s sickness, illness, incident has done to change who you are. How will it all affect you in the end?

I wonder what is God’s plan for you? Is he building you up for something great? Is he letting you suffer now to prepare you for something in the future?

These are questions I think about as I watch you go through your struggles.

And then, I catch you….smiling….talking…laughing..singing…..

Just being you…..

And I think to myself…it will all work out fine.

I love you my boy.

Mommy.

Don’t forget to follow our circle! Up next is Isabel Shaw

The post Letters to Our Sons: May appeared first on My Life.

Sometimes, I feel like motherhood is the same way.  I’ve been “practicing” for three years. But I always feel like I can never quite get it right. I can never quite do it like my mother did it. I’m not consistent enough. I’m not tough enough, I don’t play enough, I don’t discipline the “right” way, etc etc etc..

I had big plans for motherhood. A big lists of things I would and would not do. But motherhood is a journey, a learning experience. I wouldn’t say it’s an experiment, but close to it. I can only try to do my best and pray that it all turns out right.  I think for the most part, I am doing OK. Because I am the mother to this brilliant 3 year old who is full of joy and laughter and light despite all the things that go wrong in his life.

Yesterday I got my first ever Mother’s Day card from my Pookah. It was handmade. And it was imperfectly perfect.  I loved it. And I realized that Pookah loves me the same way.  He doesn’t care that I’m an imperfect mother with all my perceived flaws. When that sweet voice tells me that he loves me and gives me sweet kisses, I know that all he sees is someone who loves him. Consistently.  All the time.

And that lets me know I’m doing something right.

The post Motherhood appeared first on My Life.

They gave my son, who is allergic to wheat, a pancake at daycare today.

Let’s let that marinate for a moment……

I get the call, around 930 that Pookah is not feeling well. He says his stomach is hurting. The school “nurse” also takes the time to point out that he is breathing hard and just doesn’t look right.

Confused, the first thing I ask is: what did he eat?

She asks the 3 year old, who replies: chicken nuggets…..which was lunch the day before.

I tell her to feel his belly. Is it hard? Yes…..take him to the bathroom and call me back.

15 minutes later……..

So, no he didn’t have to go to the bathoom. But now he is red in the face and he isn’t breathing too well.

By this time, CDub is already on his way down to the school from HIS job. Because I called him and told him to go lay eyes on my child.

I hang up, confident that he will get to the bottom of this….until the phone rings again:

“Ms Wiltz, he ate a pancake.”

“Wait..WHAT? He’s allergic to wheat!?!!!!”

“OH SHIT! I mean, what should I do?”

( side note, YOU A NURSE! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING ME WHAT TO DO?)

“Give him the epi pen NOW. I’m on the way”

“But I have to call 911 if I do! I’ll call you back.”

By this time, it had been at least an hour since he had the pancake.

I’m shaking I’m crying, I could barely get my purse out of the my desk. Luckily, my friend saw me and promised to tell my manager where I was going.

I arrived at the daycare just as the ambulance was leaving. Since CDub hadn’t called me and his car was still there, I assumed they didn’t take him to the hospital.

They said he was much better, but CDub noted that in the 5 minutes he had been there, he had already noted that the hives were coming back. And my baby was swollen, red, and just….

Well, off to the ER we went because even after the epi pen is given, you still have to watch a person because after the epi has worn off, the reaction could return. And as we drive, I watched in horror as my child vomited all over the place in the backseat.

And I’m a nurse who doesn’t do vomit. ( go figure)

I managed to drive, keep him from choaking on it, and keep myself from vomiting all at the same damn time.

But oh, it gets better….

We get there, start taking off his clothes, and found this……

On his leg.

WHAT THE HELL?

And Pookah wasn’t saying anything. But he wouldn’t let anyone touch it either. Soooo, they managed to put numbing cream on it and waited.

And then tried to clean out the wound. It took THREE of us to hold him down.

And then…

“He needs stitches”

He cried/screamed and I held his hands and sang to him while they had to add more lidocaine to the cut to numb it up before they could stitch it up.

He got a popsicle at the end of it and all was right in his world.

He had no clothes to come home in and no car seat to ride in since it was still full of vomit, so…….

( He did have a seat belt on all the way home and I drove really slow)

I got him home, gave him some motrin and he passed out.

I make it a point, every morning, to get up early and fix Pookah breakfast. EVERY MORNING. He NEVER eats breakfast in school. In fact, it is a small joke among his teachers that he eats oatmeal EVERY morning and refuses even an offer of fruit because he is full. He always TELLS them that “My Mommy fixed me oatmeal.”

The half story that I got was that he was in another teacher’s room and he got the pancakes there. Why didn’t she know my child was allergic to wheat? It’s EVERYWHERE.

2nd,if like they say, everyone knows, then how did he get the damn pancake? Because supposedly  EVERYONE KNOWS!

Except the nurse who holds the epi pen…but I digress….

CDub said that when he got there, the DIRECTOR was saying, well they weren’t wheat pancakes.  So clearly, there are some people who just don’t know that wheat is in damn near everything: cookies, cakes, cupcakes, pasta, breads, sauces, meatloafs, some meatballs, etc…….

Do I have to do a damn in-service?????

I’m going to have to make them realize that this is like a peanut allergy: he could die from it.

This is why I pack his damn lunch AND snacks every day. SO THAT THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN!

Oh we are all going to have a looooong talk tomorrow morning.

And there is no way I can be nice about it.

Just wait until tomorrow morning.

Just wait.

The post The One Where the Daycare Almost Killed My Child. appeared first on My Life.

Canon 7D, Canon 100 mm 2.8 Macro Lens

Settings: shutter speed: 1/125 Aperture: 1/2.8 ISO: 4000

Glad I didn’t.

The post Wordless Wednesday: Changing My Mind… appeared first on My Life.

We were lazy this weekend.

Pookah and I ventured out in the torential rain to go to the bookstore on Saturday morning. I had promised him a book, and he wanted to buy apples. So we did.

But we didn’t stay out long because the rain was just……bad.

I was supposed to go to an event that Trina at Baby Shopaholic was having, but I couldn’t face the rain again!   So, we just stayed in all day. Doing absolutely  nothing. No cleaning, no cooking….just laying around playing with toys, watching movies, playing games and napping. ( on mine and Cdub’s parts).  I was supposed to go out Sunday night. But the rain was so bad by that point that I turned around halfway there and just went to Chipoltele and came home early to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

Sunday started off the same, and Pookah stayed in his pajamas all day. I ventured out late in the afternoon for a photo shoot with KoKoa Magazine. Luckily, the skies didn’t open up until just as we were leaving.  :-)

After that it was home and just more laying around. LOL

Sometimes you need a weekend to slow down and just be.

I think I had enough of that this weekend.

How was your weekend? Anything exciting?

The post A Wet Weekend appeared first on My Life.

I am taking a class on Clickin Moms about light, and I’m struggling to execute anything.  I was attempting to take a series of selfies ( self portraits) using natural light in the house with my new remote control, but I wasn’t liking anything, or at least, nothing was turning out like I saw it in my head.

I caught this photo accidentally really. I was supposed to be looking directly at the camera, but the remote slipped and this is what I got.

It’s the only one I kept.

The post Wordless Wednesday: Selfie appeared first on My Life.

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Hey guys, I always see a lot of things on the web that I want to share, but don’t always get a chance to. So, I thought I’d start sharing on the weekends. For those times when you are laying around a little bored and want some entertainment without moving from your comfortable spot in the bed or on the couch.

We know we love Scandal. And if you don’t check out Luvvie’s Scandal Recaps on Friday Morning….go get you a piece!

There was this post from Jen over at People I want to Punch in the Face in response to this article over at the Huffington Post. Or rather, the comments on the post. Now whether you agree or disagree, both articles are worth reading.

I discovered( well stumbled upon) Xanthe Berkely. SERIOUS eye candy. This post and this post just make me want to get up and travel to some exotic place with my little family and just…take pictures…

And this from Jessica F Hinton on writing Beautiful Things. I pink puffy heart this post.

And finally, the one on Making Dreams Come True. And yes, I downloaded the quote and printed it out.

So that’s my short little list of posts that made an impact on my this week/month.  How about you? Any good ones to share?

The post Five Around the Web. appeared first on My Life.

This is the downside of working M-F I suppose. Cause what do you do when your child is sick? I need an emergency babysitter that’s what.

But that’s all. I’m just frustrated. These last months have been hard on my boy, I just want him to be happy and healthy ALL the time! This winter/spring has been brutal on him.

Of course, he’s been a trooper. We did a lot of playing yesterday. And I got him to pose for a few photos. Normally, I wouldn’t take a photo of him looking anything less than perfect.

But I’ve been thinking. My main reason for learning to take better photos was to document our lives. And our lives are not perfect. My house is not always clean. Pookah might have on the same shirt in every photo( his favorite tomas shirt).  And Pookah might have Pink Eye. And I want a record of everything, even that.

So, I lined Pookah up and interviewed him while taking his picture. Because I want to remember years from now, what he looked like.  Even with Pink Eye.

The post Documenting Our Lives. appeared first on My Life.